I love the Dutch, that's why I came to Denmark... (short excerpt from comedy play by Oren Shafir)

In this short excerpt from my play, Better Off Dead, Ulla and her friends,  Lars and Lone, are trying to teach Rex, your average Texan cowboy, how to be Danish.

ACT I, SCENE III, ULLA’S LIVING ROOM

(Lars and Lone are just entering)

ULLA

These are my dearest friends, Lars and Lone Lonelarsen. Lars and Lone, this is my new boyfriend, Rex from Texas.

LARS AND LONE

Oh, an American.

REX

What’s a matter, don’t you like Americans?

LARS

Yes, of course. We are Danish.

 LONE

We are very tolerant and extremely non-judgemental.

LARS

But we believe that all Americans are narcissistic, dogmatic hypocrites.

 REX

Why I might take offense with that if I knew what any of those words meant.

 ULLA

Now we shall have Danish hygge.

LARS

Yes, now we shall have Danish hygge.

LONE

Yes, we shall have Danish hygge now.

ULLA

We shall explain.

LARS, LONE AND ULLA

(Lars, Lone and Ulla light

candles frantically as they

sing this song)

THE DANISH HYGGE SONG

DANISH HYGGE IS SO DANISH

IT’S AS DANISH AS CAN BE

DANISH HYGGE IS SO SPECIAL

BECAUSE IT IS SO HYGGELIG

DANISH HYGGE IS SO SIMPLE

AND YET IT IS COMPLEX

ALL YOU NEED ARE 500 CANDLES

AND SOME PEOPLE AT LEAST THREE

THEN YOU NEED SOME DANISH HUMOR

WE ARE VERY FUNNY

WE GAVE THE WORLD BLACK HUMOR

WE INVENTED IRONY

DANISH HYGGE IS SO DANISH

IT IS AS DANISH AS CAN BE

DANISH HYGGE IS SO CHARMING

BECAUSE IT IS SO HYGGELIG

ALL YOU NEED ARE 500 BEERS

AND SOME PEOPLE, AT LEAST THREE

REX

Oh, that’s Danish hygge. It’s kinda like...

Read more or download the full play as a pdf.

Listen to the first act read in a live staged radio reading