The real reason foreign men come to Denmark

Short audio clip from Better Off Dead.

First act of Better Off Dead in staged reading

Listen to first act of the play, Better Off Dead (with music by Thune Lindberg, which was read live in front of an audience for Radio Shalom in Copenhagen in 2010.

https://soundcloud.com/orenshafir42/better-off-dead-radio-reading

Sneak preview of Better Off Dead

Part of the new musical comedy by Shafir (that's me) and Lindberg (that's Thune), Better Off Dead, will be read live this Saturday at 19:00 in honor of the anniversary of Radio Shalom in Copenhagen. Listen on 87.6 FM if you're in Copenhagen.Later, it will be available in their archives. The actual premiere will happen sometime in March 2011 at a secret location in the Milky Way Galaxy.

Swedish emporer bans MSN and Facebook

Read this hilarious chat transcript of my daughter mercilessly having fun with a defenseless American moron (my daughter is "you"):

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!


Stranger: hey

You: hiyaaaaa

Stranger: how u doing doing

Stranger: u f or m


Stranger: how old r u

You: eleventy billion years old

You: how old are you?

Stranger: 22

Stranger: u a f or a m

You: sorry i don't speak idiot

Stranger: are you a female or a male

You: female

You: you?

Stranger: male

Stranger: how old are you

You: 18

Stranger: nice where u from

You: sweden


You: you?

Stranger: usa


Stranger: do you have msn?

You: no they don't allow msn in sweden


You: the government : (

Stranger: that sucks

Stranger: do you use anythign chat

You: no the emperor has forbidden facebook and aim and stuff like that

Stranger: danggg

You: i know right totally sucksss


You: plus now that everybody has to dye their hair blond everybody just looks the same.. its really horrible



Stranger: that really sucks

Stranger: i cant live like that

You: i know im gonna move away from home the second i'm a legal adult

You: you're not legal till you are 29 in sweden..

Stranger: dangggg

You: i mean you can live away from home and stuff if you have permission from your parents

Stranger: what if u get married

You: only if you have permission from your parents..

Stranger: so u need permission from ur parents to get married

You: yeah untill you're legal

Stranger: i always wanna go to sweden also lol

Stranger: idk now lol

You: its a cool place for tourists you should totally come

Stranger: idk where to stay at thou

You: just be really carefull because there are certain districts they kill a lot of tourists and cut of their hair so they can make wigs


You: because everybody is blond

Stranger: fuck that lol

Stranger: no1 isnt chopping my hair off lol

You: no i get it.. what color is your hair?

Stranger: brown

You: if its blond you'll be ok


You: maybe dye your hair before coming

Stranger: lmao

Stranger: i do need to find a place to sleep at

You: i'd invite you to stay with me but the emperor doesn't allow sleepovers in stolcholm anymore.. not since elisa..


You: but hotels are super cheap

Stranger: lol ill sneak in

Stranger: wanna j oin me in the hotel

You: sure thing.. you just have to talk to my dad, or i will by thrown out of the village and have my clog medals taken away from me


You: but my dads cool, he doesn't mind.. just a formality you know

Stranger: ooo ok

Stranger: do you have any pics jw

You: http://www.klaus-ebbesen.dk/pic/gravbal.jpg

Stranger: real funny

You: omg i'm so embararsed i sent you the wrong link


You: so sorry this is a famous man from my country

Stranger: its ok

Stranger: ohhh

Stranger: so what is the link to ur pic lol

You: http://thealchemistblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/img_4462.jpg
You: omg sorry thats my dad just a sec i'll find the right one

Stranger: ok

Stranger: find it yet lol

You: sorry cant find anything but if you go oon facebook and search for iben hjejle you'll find me

Stranger: ok

You: http://www.billedbladet.dk/~/media/BilledBladet/Kendte/Nyheder/Iben%20Hjejle/Hjejlegldame.ashx?as=true&w=445


You: wait heres one


You: i was in the swedish american idol so i was in the news a lot lol

Stranger: nice

Stranger: u look pretty

You: i have to leave now the emperor says we have to go to bed


You: at exactly 7 o clock


You: or we will have our clog medals taken away


Stranger: ooo ok sorry bye